letsloveothers

Are you a perfectionist or know someone who is? This recovering perfectionist can testify to what it is like to live in Perfectionism Hell.

I had to be the best at everything. Which as anyone knows is impossible. The result? Low self-esteem and the need to continually prove my worthiness haunted my every waking moment.

What is the difference between excellence and perfectionism? Excellence defines your character— how you live your life. Whereas perfection defines your identity— how you perceive yourself.

Perfectionists refuse to accept being perfect is an impossibility. Which is what makes perfectionism emotionally draining and devastatingly destructive. Resulting in anxiety, chronic unhappiness, depression and a potential risk factor for suicide.

Are you a perfectionist?

UNREASONABLE HIGH DEMANDS AND EXPECTATIONS, PERSONALLY AND FOR OTHERS

• Act deliberately, never impulsively.
• Establish both long and short term goals. Seldom deviating from your plan.
• Have a no pain, no gain work mentality and take pride in being a workaholic.
• Harshly judge yourself and others.
• Feel most comfortable with black and white thinking.
• Impose your standards on others.

FEAR OF FAILURE

• Have an all or nothing approach to life.
• Procrastinate.
• Avoid risks at all costs.
• Interpret every setback and criticism as an indictment of your inadequacies or unworthiness.
• Become defensive when criticized.
• Take pleasure in others shortcomings or failures.
• Believe your acceptance and lovability is conditional upon never making mistakes.
• Miss deadlines or have a low level of productivity.

UNHAPPY EVEN WHEN YOU ACHIEVE SUCCESS

• Obsess over EVERY mistake.
• Have temper tantrums or emotional meltdowns when life throws you a curve ball.
• Believe you have not or will never reach your full potential.

UNCOMFORTABLE WITH AUTHENTICITY 

• Hide your physical and emotional pain.
• Believe you must always be strong, and weakness is despicable.
• Avoid talking about your personal fears, inadequacies, insecurities and disappoints with others. Including your loved ones and friends.
• Feel guilty or ashamed.

Perfectionism wrecks havoc in your life AND everyone with whom you interact. Next Tuesday I will discuss excellence and how it, not perfectionism is worthy of your pursuit.

Be a VOICE in the deafening sound of sameness!