letsloveothers

Monday I began a series about family. How a show from the 50s, Leave It To Beaver depicted positive attributes of a healthy and loving family that are as applicable today as they were then. In the Cleaver’s home

• family values were discussed and modeled. (All For One and One For All)
• roles and corresponding responsibilities were clearly defined.
• rewards for appropriate behavior and negative consequences for inappropriate behavior were dispensed impartially and lovingly.

• adults’ actions and words were complimentary, not contradictory.
• love was demonstrated by providing temporal possessions AND emotional support.

Clearly defining roles and corresponding responsibilities of each family member is vitally important. Enabling a family to be

• unified in time of need.
• flexible in its decision-making.
• organized.

FUNDAMENTAL ROLES

Provision of Physical Resources

• money
• food
• clothing
• shelter

Nurturance and Support

• love
• comfort
• reassurance

Life Skills Development (becoming a contributing member of society)

• physical
• emotional
• educational
• social skills

Maintenance and Management of the Family System

• leadership
• decision making
• handling family finances
• discipline and enforcement of behavioral standards
• maintenance of appropriate relationships with extended family, friends and neighbors

HOW

Family Council

• regularly scheduled
• last no longer than an hour
• follow an agenda (prior to meeting encourage agenda item suggestions)
• rotate leading the council between parents and older children
• voice opinions and feelings without interruptions or fear of criticism
• set goals, distribute household chores, resolve family problems and celebrate one another’s successes

Define Roles

• Clearly define each family member’s role(s).
• Clearly identify the personal negative consequences of failing to fulfill the role AND the negative impact upon the family.

Allow for Flexibility

• Family roles will change over time and during times of crisis.
• Temporary or permanent shift in roles is to be anticipated and accepted.

Allocate Roles Fairly

• No one individual is overburdened.
• Consider age, mental maturity and physical strength when assigning roles.

It’s never too late to roll up your sleeves and begin building a healthy family. There may be growing pains but don’t quit. The long-term benefits for you, for those you love and for the world at large are infinite.

Thanks for listening to my voice! Feel free to like and share it with your friends.

Have a great day! Rita

 

Be the VOICE heard amidst the deafening sound of sameness!