For most of my life every day was Halloween. A mask of perfection was always a part of my daily ensemble. Growing up in a home of alcoholism and abuse. I learned early on to keep secrets. To do whatever it took to remain invisible.
Vulnerability was taboo. Dependency upon others was foolishness. Being in control was my insurance policy— my protection from physical and emotional abuse. One of the problems with relational invisibility is that all of your relationships remain superficial, devoid of intimacy and trust.
Overtime this superficiality and distrust took a toll. Despondent and desperate I strived to prove myself worthy of others love. But nothing I achieved. Nor any of my relationships quieted the deep seeded longing I had for relationships in which I could be myself without fear of rejection.
Thankfully this all changed one summer day when the lover of my soul, Jesus greeted me with love, not condemnation. Assuring me that He would always LOVE me and NEVER harm me. This encounter was the beginning of my transformational journey. A journey on which an insecure, introverted woman discovered her “voice”.
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3 thoughts on “Love 4 Ever”
I, too, grew up in an abusive home. I learned that Jesus was my ONLY friend many times, so I never felt alone.
Sadly, I didn’t experience that until I was adult. Better late than never!
Reblogged this on justkeepingitREAL and commented:
Make this year a year to be remembered!